You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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