North Korea, Best Korea!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
