its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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