jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
