Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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