This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
