why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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