yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize