it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
