haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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