if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
