Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
