she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize