I want to have your abortion
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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