I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
