wanna go halves on a baby?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize