She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
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