is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
