i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
