Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize