You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
