Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
