? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
