He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize