She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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