I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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