yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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