My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
