I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
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