Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
