I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Enjoy the penises
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
