have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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