you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
