1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
