i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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