unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
