Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My vagina is officially offended.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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