It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
operation have a gay friend backfired
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
