Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
