Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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