So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
