You made me cry and you don't even care
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
