Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
