Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
