He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
