so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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