PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
