just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
