I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
