i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
