in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So much rum. So many feels.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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