speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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