Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
