So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
