Only a mothe r could love this liver
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
