I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
