I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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