I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
