"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Houston, we have a blender
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
