PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
