OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
