she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
