think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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